Bridge of No Return

Bridge of No Return
Originally uploaded by punk_rock_baby.

The DMZ, forget Everland or Lotte World. We have the World’s most pristine nature reserve, it’s called the DMZ. Yes, there maybe mine fields and anti-tank walls, but it has not been touched by man in fifty years. Well, here was that little tree incident. Where two U.S. soldiers, one named Captain Bonifas, were brutally murdered by axes while supervising a tree trimming. But Paul Bunyan was a success and only required 50 martial arts experts from the ROK Army, a naval carrier, helicopters, bombers, and everything and soldier we had on the peninsula to trim trees. Besides the Bridge of No Return we also have the most dangerous one hole golf course in thw world (featured in Sports Illustrated, as it used to be surrounded by mines), the Monastery(once a bar, now a souvenir stand), and there are lovely accommodation in either Freedom Village or Propaganda Village(Irony knows no end). Although, only women can marry into Freedom Village, no men need apply(you don’t pay taxes but you do need to be in by midnight). As for staying at Propaganda Village, they have lovely multi-storied modern building with no floors or windows. But we are always expanding. As in when Harmony Hall was built for reuniting families(it has never been used for it’s original purpose, it is a cold empty building), North Korean added a taller addition to their building. Or when a new South Korean 100 meter flag pole was donated to Freedom Village, North Korea built a 160 meter flag pole with the world’s largest flag. North Korea’s free propaganda radio was shut down in 2004. Please don’t try to use your cell phones, the North Korean believe in monopoly of information and have installed radio jammers all along the border. Who needs free speech freedom of information when you have dynastic Communism(oh irony, you little bitch working over time are we)? Remember do not make an gestures or faces as the North Korean will use them for propaganda. We’re quite happy they’ve stopped using the American flag to polish their boots. After lunch, (also a monopoly) it’s time for the show, which was a video on . . . well a lot of things. The Kiwi beside stated, “That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen.” I replied,” I’ve seen worse, but I’m American.” Please visit our small museum on North Korea’s tunnels. Unfortunately, you can’t visit North Korea’s Peace Museum (although we were told the ax that killed Capt. Bonifas is housed there). Last but not least, you can don a hard hat, and walk down a sharp tunnel to see one of the hidden tunnels found in 1971. At the bottom of the tunnel you will find a pair of plastic cranes standing beside a spring and in front of a blue painted background. Try not to hit your head, as you walk down a tunnel which 30,000 North Korean soldiers could march through in an hour. After laboring back up to the surface, please stop in our souvenir stand where we have premium DMZ rice for sale. This concludes your trip to the DMZ, please no pictures.

God, I wish this wasn’t true. I write this tongue in cheek, but unfortunately all of it is true which is the saddest thing of all. Fifty years later one country’s civil war has been transformed almost into a theme park, or zoo(complete with a Monkey House). So many people have died. So many families have been separated. For what? Ideology. Communist verses Democracy(lets be honest military, U.S. supported dictatorship). Ideology is a dangerous thing, it changed a homogenous country into one brutally fighting against one another. It’s so surreal, and ultimately so stupid. That’s what I got out of this a feeling of stupidity and loss. 160 meter flag poles and buildings with no floors. It makes you want to cry.

You have to hand it to the ROK and U.S. soldiers who serve at Panmunjon. Our guides were great, living up to their motto, In Front of Them All. The ROK soldiers who serve two years are specially, well hard core. ROK soldiers have to stare down the “enemy” all day long. Except the enemy is someone the same age, the same ethnic back ground, the same language, but born on the other side of the line, the DMZ. Isn’t he doing his duty too? He may even be related to you. If you aren’t outside staring down a lone man, then you’re inside serving as cardboard stand up while tourists spend their vacation stepping over into Communist North Korea for pictures before they head off for lunch. War, it’s a good business. Fifty years later, still a good investment. Makes you wonder how long until you get Iraq tours. Visit Saddam’s palace, or live like a Hussien for a day. At the same time, I have to say, it really is something everyone who goes to Korea should do. It makes you think. Reflection is always a good thing. What’s the silver lining? That we never forget. One should never forget. I’ll never forget.