So Not Excited

I should have felt well anything different then how I felt. I should have been upset, not mildly amused and happy. Tonight I was supposed to me a guy for coffee after work. On my way down to Intelligentsia I thought about how this was probably doomed since the guys name is one I equate with trouble(and not in the good way). Walking down Broadway past used bookstores and clothing stores I thought about dating. I haven’t done much dating. Honestly any teenager has probably gone on more dates than I have. I counted(these are one date or more):
M
Z
J
B
E
A
M
L
I think that’s it. How many is that? Eight. Wow. Now guys that I didn’t tech. date but had weird undefined things with are (A might fall under that too):
E
M
J
Three more brings us to 11. Wow. So the idea is this year to date more men the I have dated or a had something with in my entire life. As in one date or coffee or whatever a month. At the least it will be good practice. Well at least that is what Xee would tell me. I am going to listen to her and date more. Am I excited about this? Honestly not really. I was not upset when I got stood up tonight, in all honesty I was kind of relieved. Just as a contrast. Guy friends:
R
J
J
Z
A
M
W
M
Eight. Umm, yeah. With kind of guy friends.
B
N
M
Hmm, so yeah same number. Odd. Okay, now me plus guy I like that equals stupidity and craziness. No wonder I was happy to be stood up. As Xee says I got trust issues, amongst other things. It really is no wonder that out of my friends I am still single. And, right now okay with that. But if that man of my dreams shows up, well then all bets are off. The happiest stood up person ever.