Ides of March

Blue Demon
Originally uploaded by punk_rock_baby.

What should I do? How can I make my life the way I want it? It seems like it’s more and more about dealing with the shit life hands me. Unfortunately, I’m aware enough to know that most of the shit is the result of poor choices made on my part. You never know when what seems like a good idea turns out to be tomorrows major pain in the ass. And that is usually the case. I’m starting to think the bad decisions are really the right choices in hiding. Or at least that is what I would like to convince myself. Although some of my stupider choices have also fucked me over. Great, now I’m back to you’re just fucked. I have to say sometimes, it’s nice to be just plain fucked over. At least you know where you are and it’s all up hill from there. Maybe the problem is I should just stop dreaming. Sometimes, I feel like I should just give up. Go Buddhist, no desires. No hopes, no disappointments. Oh, let’s face it I would get bored. I don’t think I could stop dreaming. I wish I could some days. I don’t know what is worse, not knowing what you want or knowing what you want and not being able to have it. I think we’re back to fucked(or waiting). This is the year of waiting, not the year of the dog. One thing is for certain. Korea leaves me with way too much time to write rambling posts, which only really interest me. Venting, better than erupting. I’m tired. I think I’m starting to grow up(doesn’t that suck), because I’ve partially accepted the fact a) things will work out b)either way it’s not going to be like I expect it to be c) it doesn’t matter what I think or want. Faith is a bitch.

On a lighter note, Spiderman delivered pizza today to the school. No, really a man dressed as Spiderman delivered three sweet potato and ham pizzas for the teachers(yes I did say sweet potato, they like to put in on the pizzas). The deliver man was wearing a padded full body Spiderman costume and a motorcycle helmet. The kids got a kick out of him. And quite frankly I wish I had had my camera with me.

Also today was White Day, when guys give girls candy. It’s yet another made up commercial holiday. There is also the following made up holidays: Sandwich Day, Peppero Day, Movie Day, Rose Day, White day, Pork Day and Black Day.I know I’m missing some, but those are a few of them. Most of them are either based on food or relationships.

Current fav. song: The Delgados' "The Light Before We Land."