my perfect man

"Down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. The detective must be a complete man and a common man and yet an unusual man. He must be, to use a rather weathered phrase, a man of honor. He talks as the man of his age talks, that is, with rude wit, a lively sense of the grotesque, a disgust for sham, and a contempt for pettiness."
— The Simple Art of Murder
-Raymond Chandler

; )

For a few minutes today it snowed.

Pie eiP

My day backwards, just for a hoot. I just finished watching "About A Boy," a good holiday/family movie, on AFN Prime. I got home after an hour train ride back from Apgujeong, a rather upscale and trendy section of Seoul. I had a lovely, over priced cup of coffee and pie after leaving Tarah and Andrew on their way to Subway(as in the sandwich chain) and KOEX(huge mall). The pie was actually from an Austrilian chain called Bondi, which had everything from Shepard's pie to apple pie. I opted for the Beef Vindaloo pie which was small but with a decent crust. I flipped through Austalian Gourmet, coping down two recipies I'll have to make when I have an oven and people to bake for. Also strangely enough I found a recipe for a Caprini martini featured in an article. I also found Bagel Street Cafe. The place Andrew, Tarah and I had spent an hour rooming the streets of Apgujeong looking for. By then Andrew and Tarah were eating subs, and it didn't matter anyway since it was closed. I had taged along with Tarah in search of bagels and cream cheese after going with her to the orphanage she volunteers at every two weeks.

The orphanage is on a hill next to a busy street down from World Cup Station. There are four buildings, one is a dormatory, one is an office, one was a dining hall/rec area, and I am not sure what the fourth one is. The buildings are decorated with odd murals. The water tank is painted like a zebra. On one wall, there is a mural of Santa Claus yelling at a crying reindeer with a police officer coming to talk to him, while an angel watches over head. None of the buildings are what one could call nice, but are not bad. There is a sandy parking lot in front, and then a steep incline which could fit a car.

The orphanage has only boys. When we got there the younger boys were tearing around running up and down the steps. Some of the older boys were playing ball with two other foriegners. Tarah and I played Uno for a while on the steps going up the hill toward the dormintory. One of the youngest squated by my feet looking over the sholder of one of the boys who was playing with us. I eventually lost my cards to another boy who wanted to play. Justin(one of Tarah's students) didn't want to stop playing. And he definately didn't want us to win so he kept yelling,"Uno" as soon as he saw we were about to put down our second to last card. The boy who took over my hand decided to claim me and we went down to toss a soft frisbee like thing from Pizza Hut in front of the orphanage. The time went quickly, but I am glad I went. On leaving, Justin asked if I'd be back and I told him I'd come back. I will probably go back again with Tarah in two weeks. Maybe, next time I'll bring my camera.

I don't really have anything to say, because what can you say besides I got lucky. I think it would have been a lot harder if they were babies. The really hard part will be not going, but leaving them behind. I think Tarah is really glad I'm interested in going, and maybe able to take over her group. It means when she leaves she knows someone will still be going there, and for a little longer she'll be able to hold on to them before they're swallowed by the world.

So, that was my day backwards. Life is backwards, isn't it.

Insomnia

Click on Insomnia for what you find when no one is answering their phones, and you can't sleep.
Good find for the musically inclined.

Simple Pleasures

Today I headed to Itaewon to pick up some books for my dad and myself. I headed to Abby's Book Nook which is on a backstreet not far from Jackie's(as in Jackie Chan). Abby's is a used bookstore on the second floor above a restaurant and has a little cafe area. It's a great place to get books, sit and have good decently priced coffee. As I was searching for books, Abby asked if anyone wanted coffee. How does one say no to free brewed coffee in Korea(good coffee is rare and expensive)? More over how does one say no to free pumpkin pie! After stuffing yourselves with turkey and stuffing on Thanksgiving, and wonder what new way you're going to use the left over turkey today you may marvel at my being so over joyed with a sliver of pumpkin pie. Consider this, the only thing that slightly Thanksgiving-y about my Thanksgiving was a mediocre can of black olives. So Abby made my Thanksgiving. Thank you Abby. Oh, goodness, I just realized how corny that is. But, really I am still so happy about it several hours later I am posting about it. I think this proves I'm easily amused. If only that was always true. I've already decided that when I move back it's going to be to a city and definately to a place where I know people. Suburbia is not for me, it drives me a little crazy. Well, thank goodness for pie. : )

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Turkey Day!
Actually it's almost over for me. It's just another work day for me. I ran out and grabed a cake roll for work. It seemed odd not to be sharing something with people. There was not pie to be found, so cake roll it was. I've spent most of the evening finishing up report cards for students.
Today, was an okay day. The highlight had to be one of my more advanced classes. When we have some extra time I play the sentence story game with them. The game where you start a story and everyone gets to say one sentence. It forces them to think on the fly, and I can correct grammar as we go. Unfortunately, Willy likes to kill people, send them to hell or heaven and then burn their spirits. Willy has lived in both England and Switzerland, meaning his vocabulary is quite advanced(he's not even in middle school). The previous student said,"I make a utopia(Willy having killed him and sent him to hell)." The sentence from Willy ended up being,"The devils got angry and staged a coup d'etat and burned him." The end. I never know what they are going to throw at me. Coup d'etat. I love it.

Okay, now the corny thanksgiving part.
What am I thankful for? (In no particular order)
My Family.
My Friends.
Yes, you're all kick ass awesome.
Especially, Xee(even though she doesn't read this).
My job, especially the kids.
Being able to move to Korea.
Music, internet and books.
Being me, even when I am crazy. : )
Being a hopeless dreamer.

Happy Thanksgiving! Never change! I like you all just the way you are.
Best wishes. Warm thoughts.

Education

Irony knows no bounds.

When I was growing up, I hated reading with a passion. Mom spent hours trying to get me to read. Bribing me shamelessly in an endeavor to get me reading. I went to summer school for many years just for reading. The concept that letters represent sounds was not one I grasped easily nor quickly. Now, I spend my days slowly sounding out words to children. Teaching them a is for apple. Trying to get them to grasp the concept that all words need at least one vowel. I assign sections of books to students who tell me they don't like novels. But instead of teaching one child I teach at least a hundred students. God, I must have been a pain in the posterior. Well, karma's a *itch(see Mom I didn't swear). Actually, I really like it. I may have come here to learn about Korea but it's definitely the kids that make it worth while.

Random bits:
"Thank you for teaching our spoilt child." This is a comment from a parent on a report card.

"Women's life is too hard. I think I'm a housewife, and I write this. Today I did household chores at home all day long. After I prepared breakfast and washed dishes, I did the laundry using a washing machine and hung the wash out on a clothesline my waist is painful. And then I prepared lunch. I had bread for lunch because my family went out. I felt comfortable because preparing lunch was easy. I read a book for a short time, and then it was time to prepare supper. I washed rice and make kimchee soup. My family came back home one after another, and we had dinner all together I washed dishes and cleaned each room. It was a very hard day. It seems that women's housechores are hardest in the world. Especially housewives live harder life than any other women from this point of view, studying is a very easy part. If I were a housewife, I would do housechores repeatedly." - diary entry

This is an interesting entry from one of my thirteen year old students. Women's roles are starting to shift in Korea. This is a very traditional view of how women/wife should be. One fo the first questions I get, even from my young students, is "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Are you married?" One of my co-teachers is twenty seven in American age, but about to turn thirty in Korean age this Chinese New Year. There is a lot of pressure for her to get married. So much her family has even resorted to matchmaking services. You are supposed to be married by the time your thirty, and you aren't supposed to get married when your twenty-nine because it's bad luck. Once you are married and have children you aren't really supposed to work. Economics has changed that and many of my co-teacher work, but their children are older. It used to be that when you had a child you lost your name. You became your eldest child's mother. "Lee's Mother." Some children would not even know their mother's name. This too is beginning to change. Education is very important in Korea, it defines everything from what jobs you can get to who you marry. Education is a mothers' responsibility. One of my co-teachers told me she had high aspersions for her son. Most kids here don't have one after school activity, they have several. As a kid if they know an instrument and they will list at least one)(and it's usually piano). Some of them also have extra lessons in math or reading on top of public school. We loose older students every month to cram schools, which will prepare them to get into the right high school and eventually the right college(the best college). Today, seniors across the country sat for their college entrance exams, while their mothers stood outside on the brisk fall day praying for their child to do well. No, not to do well to be excellent, the best, perfect. The perfect wife, the perfect child. Perfect Korea.

ego_wins

ego_wins
Originally uploaded by punk_rock_baby.

I just got of the phone with my Mom. It turns out Ego has taken to watching nature shows with a vengence. He sits about 6 inches from the screen. It made me remember how he loved "playing" Neverwinter Nights with people from the old apartment.

Thinking of the old apartment made me think about my first Thanksgiving away from home. We decided to stay in Chicago rather than go home to our respected homes. Fro Matt and Marissa came down from Beloit. Angie and Britney came by train from western Illinois. My Dad and Lee drove down for the day. I remember trying to figure out how to brine two turkeys(one for dinner and one for Joe), which I had never done before. It was the first time I had ever cooked a turkey not under Mom's watchful and experienced eye, which is why the first one was a little over done. Sandy made massive amounts of excellent mashed potatoes and sausage dressing (which wasn't enough). My Dad sat around "talking about" Two Towers as we watched the extended edition before dinner. We managed to fit everyone around one table. There is a great picture on flickr, although I didn't post the one with Joe drawing on Marissa's sock with a sharpy as she sit reading on our futon. One of two, the place was great for having people stay with us. It seems along time ago, two years.

This year, they will be gathering in Seattle. I hear tell Jesse is frying a turkey. Sandy will once agian make massive amounts of potatoes and dressing. And Joe will be happy with leftovers, well at least for the weekend.

Happy Early Thanksgiving.

Banana

These are my Wake-up kids. Yes, they are always like this. Thomas the Tomato is the kid in bright blue with his both his hands on Owen's head. The punk. : ) He's one of my favorite bad kids. I always had a soft spot for bad boys. It's not like he's really bad, just mischievous. I like mischievous imps.

Today I was to teach them "Let's take a picture." "Say cheese." Checking their workbook one of the girls had circled,"Say banana." It's wrong, but I have to say I like it. So now it's going to be "Say banana."

Sometimes you wonder if good things happen, when the news is filled with scandal and depravity. So, I went searching for some good news. Here's some heart-some news:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5009466

I hope people are doing good. If not say, "Banana." or "Thomas the Tomato took the train to Troubleville. The punk." It works for my Wake up class. : ) Can you still laugh like a child?

Solo

For anyone who's eaten alone:

Three square meals a day. And I eat everyone of them alone. Snacks too. I hate eating alone, but I do so constantly. Self-exiled half way around the globe, I eat all of my meals in solitude. Most nights, I come home after work, turn on my trusty laptop and toast up some honey and peanut butter or fry up some frozen mandu for my square meal. If I am lazy, I’ll stop by for some mandu or kimbap to go. I eat in my cave. Occasionally, when cabin fever sets in I’m forced to strike out and brave the wilderness of dining out alone.

I hate eating out or as I romantically call it “taking my book out to dinner“. Blind date or dating a book, it’s a toss up which is worse. Taking your “date” out is painful. You don’t have to dress up or make small talk, because there is no one to impress or talk to. Like all “dates” first comes selection, usually out of whatever is laying around or if you’re lucky you go out and pick up a brand new sparkling “date”. Chances are you’ll end up picking up something you can splatter kimchee or soup on, but nothing too trashy. So after “selection,” you pick out a restaurant. Not just any old restaurant will do. No, you have to pick one full enough to guarantee good food, because if you don’t eat out often every meal counts. At the same time you want someplace empty enough, so you don’t feel like an ass for taking up a table for two when it’s just one plus book. Then there‘s the actual meal. Where you sit with your book as a shield against those casual glances which shout, “Oh, look at her she’s all alone. How sad.” You order quickly, no appetizer just a main course, please. As time ticks by, shield in hand you wait for your food so you can scarf it down before bolting so some normal, socially adjusted person with friends can use the table. Food arrives, one hand holding your shield while the other one grasps the eating utensil as you begin shoveling your one square meal a week quickly down your mouth. The sound of chewing breaks the silence around your table as you masticate your food. Escape is now in sight. Once satisfied all you have to do is wait for the check and you’re home free. The check comes, you tip big to apologize for taking up valuable space and leave quickly. As you burst through the door, book in hand you’re free until next week, or maybe the week after. And you try not to think too much about how it used to be.

Pepero Day

Hello Pepero Day. You remember when you were a kid and they had those fake candy cigarettes. Well these are kind of the same thing but filled with long biscuit sticks dipped in chocolate. Pepero is the Korean brand of Pocky, but Pepero day(1994) was started before Pocky day(1999). If you think it doesn't matter, than you don't understand about Korean-Japanese relationships. It matters to them, probably more to the Koreans than the Japanese. Pepero is like Valentine's day. Like Korea needs another Valentine's day like holiday. They have Christmas which is mostly for couples (but unlike Japan with out the KFC). Then they have Valentine's day, where women give men chocolate. And on the Ides of March(15th) there's White Day where men give women candy. (How Bloody Ironic!) Then ,so no one feels left out, there is Black Day when women wear black and eat alone (oh wait that's everyday for me). : ) I haven't even asked about Sweetest Day, not to mention New Year's Eve. I don't want to know.

The "supposed" reason behind Pepero day is school girls giving each other pepero to wish their friends grow up to be thin and tall. Well, if you give your girlfriends a ton of chocolate and carbs, the chances are they're not going to be thin, maybe tall, but not thin. But, maybe that's the intent. The "I wish you grow up thin and tall so you can marry well" part is believable, because that is really focused on here. If you think I am exaggerating, I wish I were.

The flipside of this commercial bonanza is I get to find out which of my students like me and how much. It's really the only feedback I've received about how I am doing as a teacher. Evaluation by pepero, so not fantastic but definitely okay. I didn't get any of the huge long ones you could duel with, but I received about the same amount as the other teachers.

So, here's to Pepero Day.

Amused

The best part about being in Korea is hands down working, or should I say amusing, small children. The older ones are too tired and jaded to be amused by this crazy American. The best I can get out of them is bemused. My three o'clock classes are still young enough to be amused by my quirks. Which works great when one's mind has decided to take a holiday, leaving you with limited functions, a proclivity to wander oddly or do random things. Nothing holds a child's attention than a crazy American, who takes attendance by asking in a confused voice,"Who am I? Who are you?" No matter how tired I am, I still end up laughing and smiling my way through a lesson. All I need to say is "Thomas the Tomato," and my whole class breaks out in laughter, including Thomas the Tomato. It's great when one can laugh at the silly things that make no sense. They're great.

Nothing makes a person feel better than laughter. And today, when I need it they made me laugh. My six young boys were highly amusing in a very wrong way. I was teaching them about food, tastes good, having, etc. And Jun(probably one of my favorites) says,"Teacher, coffee(mimes holding a coffee cup), bread, (dips bread in coffee), good!" "Okay, Jun." "Teacher, Cass good(note Cass is Korean beer)!" And then mimes drinking beer. Andy says,"Teacher Hite good(note Hite is another beer)." While the kid across from them mimes dropping a shot of something and slugging it back. Yes, these kids are probably around 8 or 9. I was trying to teach them,"What would you like to have for lunch?" They were trying to recommend beer. Yeah, I never know what they're going to say next but I love that. They're so fearless and so energetic, how can one not be also. So thank goodness for children's laughter, fearlessness, curiosity, and youthful exuberance.

Faith

Every time I went home to Madison, I would got to church with my Mom. Partially because I know it makes Mom happy but also because I like her church. The congregation is small, and the people are warm and caring. I've never been a consistent attainder of church, in fact I have a few beefs with organized religion, but I respect what it does for people and communities. That is neither here nor there. Being a nar do well infrequent attendee allows me to hold onto the church, the "holiness", the memories of Christmas service, the promise of Easter, the feeling of community. I like that when I attend the sermon tends to speak to me, personally, intimately. Telling me to forgive a friend or to have faith.

Faith. One of the hardest things to do in this modern age is to keep faith. Just reading the papers makes one depressed and think what is the world coming to. Will things get better? Why do people have to die such senseless deaths? To suffer such horrible fates? And gnaw at yourself that you're not doing anything to change things. To make things better. But, then sometimes you feel powerless. Wrapped up in your own suffering you hope against reason(and sometimes against yourself) that everything happens for a reason, and in the end it will all work out. You hope. You have faith. Or you try to have faith.

Faith, sometimes seems like the adult way of holding on to dreams. A form of fantasy, for grown ups rebelling against the crushing pain and insensitivity of the modern world. You never ask adults, "What do you dream about?" We only ask children,"What do you dream of?" Dreams are for innocents. Faith is for people unwilling to accept reality. Belief against reason. Hope. our shield or our blanket, whatever need maybe. This is not to say faith and reason do not find themselves as allies. Sometimes you need to believe the reasonable choice is the right choice. In the end you hope. Hope is a religion unto itself.

*"The blog originated . . . as a catch basin for mental detritus, for the kind of stuff not good enough for print, but too good to waste on casual conversation." (Joel Achenbach, The Washington Post, August 21, 2005)

Random I

I'm sick.
My horoscope says I need a change of scenery, how ironic(me reading a horoscope says I have the attention span of two year old).
Maureen Dowd's article in the NY Times makes me sad(What's a Girl to Do?).
It will take 709 cups of hot cocoa to kill me.
I hate music subscription services(rent music)!
It's nice to know there is one black farmer in Briton(the Independant).
I love instant messangers.
I'm over using and incorrectly useing brackets.
I like that I can walk to work with a cup of tea, since I live next door.
Whee.

Solemnity

Solemnity
Originally uploaded by punk_rock_baby.

I know I should describe how my Saturday was, but I can’t seem to get into it. The words seem trite. The experience itself was great. Tired, but unwilling to waste my precious free time, I headed towards the Jongno/Anguk area which has several palaces and cultural parks. Not really knowing where I was going I wandered in the direction I hoped would take me to Jongmyo. One minute, I was walking past jewelry shops and food vendors, then I hear the beat of the drums and the clash of the gongs over the sounds of cars. As I enter the park, I see people dancing with the performers who beat out folk songs on drums, gongs, and horns dressed in colorful sashes. All around the park others are dancing to a single singer accompanied with a solo drum player. If you wander into another section the men are seated on the ground playing go and checkers. Sitting on the barren earth, they are making a music of their own as they run their fingers through the white or black pebbles pondering their next move. Next to them is Calligrapher’s Circle, where older man who are dressed like my grandfather are standing around. In their fedoras and caps, these grey men intently watch artists create scrolls and then expound on the merits or demerits of each character. Next to the road a man was getting a hair cut with a view, while others are selling hot beverages. The whole park is crammed with people; people relaxing, dancing, talking, playing, drinking, eating, sleeping, living. All right in front of Jongmyo, the resting place of kings and queens(or the resting place of their spirit tablets). As you enter the long avenues leading to the halls the words “Solemnity” greet you. The paths are full of people taking photographs and “leaf peeping.” On paths where kings and queens tread now tread foreigners trying to glimpse at what Korea is and was. Photographers try to capture the beauty of the season, the setting, or a loved one for all eternity. In a place of the dead, the living rejoice in the beauty of a season of quite and cool reflection. Never one with out the other. Words and pictures fail to capture(especially mine) the experiences I am having here. Moving to another country, forces you to see everything for the first time. Little can be taken for granted and everything can be a new adventure if you want it to be. It’s spring, after winter, after absence.